Est 3.5 min read
When you are in recovery from anything, typically the foundation is shame focused. There's something wrong with you, you're broken, you need to use your willpower and turn your life around, get your shit together, so to speak. Unfortunately, that paradigm has likely deeply influenced your relationship with food and your body.
Have you ever said to yourself… I know what I should do, I just can't seem to do it, I'm a sugar addict, there's something wrong with me, I'm out of control, I can't trust myself, or I'm broken? This is internalized diet culture and anti-fat bias in play. You got the message that if you are struggling with food or your body image, there is something wrong with you. Those messages create shame wiring.
For example, typically what happens when you eat in a way that feels out of control or you soothe using food, you “eat emotionally” then you will beat yourself up and feel like there's something bad or wrong with you. Or if you are not what you or society considers an ideal weight (don't forget the BMI is bogus), a lot of times you'll internalize the anti-fat bias around that and beat yourself up. The whole of these experiences creates more and more shame.
Est 5 min read
Confession: My sex life is soooo much better since I have healed my relationship with food and body.
I wanted to talk about this because most of my clients are not satisfied with their sex lives, and feeling like they're not getting enough pleasure and satisfaction in their lives. An enjoyable sex life seems so far away for some people.
I was blessed to have always been relatively neutral about sex in terms of not having a lot of shame or feeling stigma around it (if you do, you might want to consider getting support to work through it). Still, I was really not satisfied in my sex life for most of my life. And it was hugely impacted by my food and body image issues.
There were long periods of time when I was not feeling good about my body, and even though I have a relatively high sex drive, I did not want to be touched by my partner. I didn't feel confident in my body’s appearance. It was tough for me to relax and enjoy sex and receive pleasure. I was also malnourished and wasn't getting enough food so I didn't have much energy for sex. I wasn't feeling very frisky or in the mood. I was also so preoccupied with food, my body, dieting, and just obsessing about all of that. Sex and pleasure took a backburner and were not a priority. I also stayed in relationships that weren’t ideal, and didn't know how to ask for what I wanted, another aspect of not trusting myself or listening to what my intuition was telling me.
Now, I've healed my relationship with food; I eat in a way that feels easeful and brings me joy, satisfaction, pleasure, feels nurturing, and nourishing. I feel comfortable in my body; I'm attuned to my body. I honor the sensations, signals, messages, and emotions that are present for me. I care for myself on a deep level.
How has the healing I’ve done impacted my sex life?
Est 5 min read
Did you know there is a link between substance/alcohol use disorder and eating disorders?
NationalEatingdisorders.org says that up to 50% of the time, individuals with eating disorders use alcohol or illicit drugs, and that's a rate that's five times higher than the general population. The flip side of that is up to 35% of people who are dependent on alcohol or substances (people who have substance use disorders), also have eating disorders. That's a rate that's 11 times greater than the general population.
What does this statistic tell us? People who have disordered eating or an eating disorder tend to struggle more with substance use disorder, and people who have substance use disorder tend to struggle more with food challenges. I've absolutely seen this in my practice, I would say probably 80% of the people who work with me are also in recovery from alcohol or substance use disorder.
For many of my clients, after they got sober or began recovery from alcohol and substance use disorder, they struggled a lot more with food. Most often, when we dig into it, we find that their food challenges started way before their issues with alcohol and substances. Often, they flipped between the two. For some people, it was happening at the same time. They would be drinking a lot then their eating became more problematic, either more restrictive or more binge episodes, whatever the case, may be.
Download your free hunger scale now!
The first step to healing your relationship with food is reconnecting with the signals your body gives you. One of the ways to do that is by checking in with your hunger before you eat. Here's my spin on the traditional hunger scale..