Est 4 min read
How often do you override or ignore it when you're hungry?
Do you even know what it feels like when you're hungry? Or, do you have to wait until you get hit over the head with hunger?
When you're thirsty, have to go to the bathroom, or working, and you want to just push through and keep going? There's probably a lot of ways that you do this all day long. Most of us do this because our systems of oppression condition and encourage us to do this.
I love the book Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by Amelia Nagoski and Emily Nagoski. They talk about being a human giver versus being a human being; how human giver syndrome is designed to make you feel your value and worth is dependent on serving the human beings. This dynamic is tied up in all of these systems of oppression, patriarchy, capitalism, white supremacy, diet culture, and ableism. All of these systems of oppression want to keep you overworking, busy, ignoring yourself, feeling small, and just terrible, so that you don't do anything you really want to do, and so that you can't speak up about things or fight against any of the terrible things that are happening.
This is likely a big part of the problem- overriding your body takes you away from yourself rather than having a solid grounded relationship with yourself and your relationship with food and your body. Shifting this pattern requires building connection and trust with yourself. Building connection and trust is all about recognizing what's happening in your body- also known as body attunement, or tuning in; learning what you actually need then honoring that need.
It might sound silly, but you know, you're meant to be the person who cares for yourself. You are really meant to be your number one priority. And I did say number one. The priority, not a priority, because there will only be one person who is in charge of taking care of you. Unless you're a little child, right? Then ideally, you have a caregiver who's tuned in to your needs. But once you grow up, it's just you.
It can be helpful to ask yourself:
Do I understand and behave as if my value and my worth is not tied to pleasing others?
Do I understand and behave as if my value and my worth is not tied to checking things off my to do list?
Do I understand and behave as if my value and my worth is not tied to looking a certain way?
If not, know that these are external measures of worth. Instead, remind yourself…
My value and my worth is constant, inherent, and non-negotiable.
You may need help from a therapist or a coach, like me, to start to untangle the pattern of seeking validation based on external measures.
Ask yourself: often am I overriding my body? What am I overriding it to gain?
Its important to make it pleasurable when you increase awareness around patterns, behaviors, or what's happening in your body, because if every time you do that, you're like, “Oh, I did it again. I'm terrible. What's wrong with me?”, you're not going to want to have that awareness, your brain is going to be like ‘I’m sticking my head in the sand lalalalala.’ Instead, make it a game. Get curious, get compassionate, and see what’s happening. Make it like a fun road trip game or something. I don't know, whatever game you like to play, try to gamify it and really make it pleasurable and reward yourself.
Slowly over time, you can start to shift that pattern. See if there's moments where you can actually give yourself what you're wanting- in real time, honoring that need. After see if you can feel really good about it, and appreciate that you did it! Connection and trust are built in the small moments. Even though this is challenging for you and you might feel silly about it, it's actually a big deal! Its really hard to resist all of this external pressure and listen to what your body wants.
If you need support around this or your relationship with food and your body, things feel out of control, or you feel a lot of shame around food or your body, this is something I can help you with. You can reach me by email at Tiffany@coachtiffanyrn.com
Download your free hunger scale now!
The first step to healing your relationship with food is reconnecting with the signals your body gives you. One of the ways to do that is by checking in with your hunger before you eat. Here's my spin on the traditional hunger scale..